Counseling For Men

How Do Men Identify Crisis?

Men typically have a difficult time reaching out for help. Socially, we have been confined to a narrow box of manufactured expectations that wholly ignores and suppresses aspects of life and parts of ourselves. As a result, our feelings have become something to be controlled and rarely acknowledged. Being emotionally vulnerable is viewed as weakness and something that “real men” just don’t do.

Moreover, this construct of masculinity makes men angry or reactive—and we don’t even realize it. You may be resentful of work or have relationship problems because you can’t be the person you truly want to be. But you don’t have to abide by that distorted narrative any longer. 

You can learn how to understand your emotions, challenge tired conceptions of masculinity, and find acceptance and peace by integrating all aspects of yourself.

In An Evolving Society, Men Face Unique Challenges 

Men may lack self-esteem, motivation, or a concrete sense of purpose and direction. Often, we secretly search for meaning but worry that working an unfulfilling job is as profound as life will ever get. We can be reactive and angry, lashing out at friends or partners because we don’t know how to—or are afraid to—express pain without feeling vulnerable.

Perhaps you’ve experienced a painful shift in a relationship or a midlife transition that’s causing you to question your identity or future. Or maybe you are tired of letting anxiety, depression, or trauma from your past dictate how you live in the present.

If you are struggling to find your direction or establish your legacy, you are in good company. Many men find it hard to reconcile desires with expectation. I believe that most men are actually quite sensitive, and if you look hard enough you can trace a path back in their life to a specific point when cultural forces ultimately gave them a directive to disown their sensitivity. As a result, we naturally experience friction when we bump into socially prescribed norms.

We resist feeling our emotions by shutting down, withdrawing, or lashing out at others. We get into physical confrontations, perform feats of strength, and engage in high-risk behaviors to reinforce perceptions of masculinity. We turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the internal discord—or bottle it up until it fractures into a midlife crisis or a mental health concern. Even friends can inadvertently reinforce codes of masculinity when attempts to express your feelings are met with discomfort or derision. With all this adversity, it can feel as if there is absolutely no one to turn to. 

I can help you find a new way to experience life and yourself. With a little work, you can free yourself from the unrealistic expectations of the masculine code, discover the longings of your integrated self, and begin living according to the blueprint of your true nature.

Counseling For Men Offers Perspective And Solutions

Therapy creates a safe and confidential space in which to challenge traditional narratives. It can provide an outlet for bottled emotions and help you facilitate the life that you keep cloistered from others. In time, you can learn how to listen to your inner wisdom and validate it as an aspect of your construction that is equally human.

Men are socially programmed to be reticent about sharing feelings or asking for help. We often worry that therapy will pose a threat to our masculinity or that something will come up in sessions that will be too heavy. But I understand many of the problems men face and thus strive to provide a space of compassion and respect in which we will always move at your pace and according to your comfort level. 

In our sessions, we may gently explore what real happiness means to you and where you feel like your life may have gotten off track. I’ll help you with becoming more emotionally present and guide you to healthier choices about behaviors and how you respond to distress. And I will expand your library of life skills in a way that allows you to actuate the changes you want in your life.

I can address a range of men’s issues by using a combination of therapeutic approaches that are tailored to your needs and preferences. I may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques to help you develop greater self-awareness; somatic, body-oriented techniques; EMDR; as well as trauma-informed practices. I also integrate spiritual/developmental approaches into my practice, such as Internal Family Systems, to help you realize and manifest your true nature.

Additionally, I can offer you interpersonal effectiveness skills for obtaining objectives, achieving relational success, and cultivating self-respect. And, perhaps most importantly, you will be able to learn from your emotions without being overcome by them, pausing before you react to distress and giving you a new, broader perspective from which to make better choices.

I understand that asking for help can feel like a blow to the ego, but working with a personal therapist can help you recover aspects of your whole self that you are being forced to ignore. Learning to connect with your interior landscape and navigate the world is not a gender issue or about being soft. It’s about bridging the gap between what you think makes you a good man and what actually makes you happy. With that freedom and self-acceptance, you can live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

I am considering individual counseling for men, but I still have some concerns…

How do I know that what I say will be kept in confidence?

Counseling is a sanctuary where your feelings and thoughts are safe—whether from judgment or public knowledge. I have absolute respect for your confidentiality, and I consider it a key part of my work to provide a solid, safe container in which you can explore without fear of judgment or rebuttal.

I feel like a failure for even thinking about men’s counseling.

That negative voice inside that’s criticizing or shaming you for reaching out doesn’t know any better. Together we can take a look at the underlying reasons for this voice’s existence and see if we can gently disarm or redirect it. 

We are human, and reaching out for help isn’t weakness—it’s how we survive. You have the power to change your life; I’m merely here to help you learn how.

I don’t want to abandon who I am.

Individual counseling for men focuses on expanding who you are, not changing who you are. It gives you the ability to unmute a voice that has been muffled, perhaps since you were a child. And although in our sessions I may make suggestions, I never push any agenda because I believe that change happens however and whenever the client is ready for it. I’m not here to turn you into someone else. I am here to empower you to realize your full self and your potential for happiness.

Support And Help For Men Is Available

Don’t let socially convenient, but flawed, ideas of masculinity dictate who you are or the way you live your life. I encourage you to call 608-561-8821 to schedule a free consultation and to see how counseling for men can benefit you.